Well, it is Monday the start of a new week and 360 days before the next pride weekend. It was a crushing depressing weekend. I still haven’t figured out how to terminate my current toxic relationship. We went to the movie’s and saw Transformer’s but I was a million miles away.
It is ruff for me, I hold my emotions close to the vest. Always on guard afraid that anything I say will be used against me. I gonna see a professional maybe they can help me set my life on a better path. The other option is onerrous and scary but I just keep thinking more of it and that cannot be good.
Right now I hate my life and myself. I want to learn to love my life and myself. Will I ever? Please say its possible little voice in my head.
Venting is good right, I hope so. I don’t know what else to do currently.
But back to the original topic, I was hoping to hit a party or two but didn’t. I did go for a long run (18 miles) on Sunday and stop briefly by the GP parade. There were so many smiles. It was uplifting, I should have stayed longer maybe my day would not have been so shitty.
I need to tell someone in my immediate family of what I feel. I am so afraid, so afraid; I hate being judged.
